1. Brush up on your physics and pathology, so as to better grasp the words of wisdom The Blessed One speaks. In your spare time, do some light reading from Sir Isaac Newton's "Philosophia Naturalis Principia Mathematica.
   
   
2. Make sure your habit is in keeping with Saint Scully's Dress Code. Remember, the Blessed One's "Doctor Death" outfit is for evening wear only! Make sure you have the appropriate protective eyewear and mouthpiece and that your gown is neatly pressed. Active wear is "business casual." During the day, of course, the Dress Code consists strictly of power suits (usually pant suits)--muted colors, please. Three-inch heels are mandatory. Trench coats are optional. 
   
   
3. Remember, spiritual exercise is best complemented with physical exercise. Members must display their prowess at running down busy intersections in the above-mentioned three-inch heels. Members should be able to outrun and overtake a highly trained terrorist despite the fact that they are vertically challenged. 
   
   
4. The power of prayer is not to be underrated. Morning prayers should consist of the following phrase repeated 12 times: "Whatever extreme cases I have encountered I have always viewed through the lens of science." Evening prayers should repeat the following: "Mulder, you're nuts!"
   
   
5. It is crucial that we do not forget the pain and suffering The Blessed One has experienced. All members must view "Beyond the Sea," "Irresistible," "Revelations," "Wetwired," "Tithonus," "Milagro," and most importantly, "Memento Mori" no less than 50 times each. Remember, pay particular attention to the scenes with Saint Scully and the social worker and Saint Scully's journal entries to Mulder. There will be a test. 
   
   
6. Practice, practice, practice your SREs (Scully Rationale Explanations)! Despite whatever paranormal event you encounter, DENY EVERYTHING! 
   
   NOTE: Several members are continuing to have trouble with the "alien abduction thing." Remember, there are no such things as alien abductions! Alien abductions are just a smokescreen to hide the "truth" that the government has been performing genetic experiments on the public and covering it up with the outlandish notion that "aliens" are responsible. Remember, NO ALIEN ABDUCTIONS! (Unless St. Scully changes her mind and then we are all for them. Got that?)
   
   
7. Have no life. The Blessed One is not allowed to have fun, so therefore, we must humbly follow in her morose footsteps. Lack of facial expressions are critical here! Smile infrequently. If you must smile, smirk. Don't laugh, especially if it's a Mulderist joke. That only encourages them. Work on the eyebrows!!! A raised eyebrow (only one!) is appropriate for the following occasions: 
   
   When questioning Mulder's or a Mulderist's irrational theory; When reviewing files and watching Mulder's slide show; When walking in on Mulder in the midst of viewing one of his "tapes." 
   
   NOTE: In reference to No. 7, "Have no life," some members have enquired whether celibacy is mandatory for the Order. The signs from St. Scully are unclear on this. All we, the Leaders of the Order, can say, Brothers and Sisters in Saint Scully, is that some things we must accept on faith.
   
   
8. Certain practices are strictly forbidden. Members may not view any film entitled, "Bambi" or associate with people here thereto named as such. Discussions of cockroach genitalia are strictly forbidden! Tall bleached blonde detectives CAN NOT seek admittance into the Order. And, most importantly, members should curse and spit whenever at the name or sight of the most evil Diana Fowley. 

Admittance to the OBSSE is only the beginning of your Spiritual Journey to Enigmatic  Enlightendness, not the end. As an OBSSE member, you are uniquely responsible for upholding the good name of the Order and St. Scully. And, as with any religious order worth its salt, your faith will be tested--constantly. 

 If you wish to maintain your good place in the Order, you must meet these tests with courage and vigilance. To assist you, the OBSSE offers the following guidelines to help you in your continuing pilgrimage to glorify St. Scully: 

• As a member of the OBSSE, you may proudly use the affiliation in your sig line. You should not, however, EVER use this in a post where you are not representing the fundamental faith of the Order. OBSSE is not against freedom of speech, but, if you ever for some odd and frightening reason feel compelled to post comments that are unflattering to St. Scully or against OBSSE doctrines, do not use the Order in your sig (and you may want to pray really, really hard as well).
  
  
• Remember, you must ALWAYS defend St. Scully - even when the cards are stacked against you. If Our Dear Dana thinks that contaminated groundwater made a book spontaneously combust, then so be it. Fangs *must* be calcium deposits despite what others may say. Photographic howlers can be created by old film and a heater - really! That snake tattoo is downright charming. This can be difficult for even the most devout, but remember, it is OK to laugh (with her - not ever at her), before taking up her defense. 
  
  
• Despite your personal leanings on the great Scully/Mulder relationship debate you must always remember that St. Scully is much too good for Mulder. We aren't saying that she couldn't have a weak moment sometime in the future or that Mulder can't change (strike that - Mulder can't change), but even if you entertain romantic notions about them, be firm in your resolve. Remember, if and when Scully and Mulder ever should get together, it will be because St. Scully saw fit, in her infinite wisdom, to do so. And of course, Agent Mulder would be damn lucky! (St. Scully can certainly be forgiven her weak moments, as they happen so rarely.) 

If you follow these three simple guidelines, we can assure you a successful journey in your travels as a Sister or Brother of the OBSSE! 

As an OBSSE member, one must be able to communicate effectively and efficiently with the Brothers and Sisters in the Order. Following is a short Lexicon of common OBSSE terms and acronyms to assist you in your transition to All Things Scully. (For a complete listing please visit the Official OBSSE Info Site)

The Blessed One: One of many monikers for Dana Scully. Also known as St. Scully, St.
Scully the Enigmatic, The Sainted One, Our Sainted Skeptic, and Her Pantsuitedness among others. 

Brother or Sister in St. Scully: A term used by Members of the Order when referring to
another member individually or to the Order communally. 

Dana Scully: St. Scully the Enigmatic. (See also "The Blessed One" above.) 

DD: Who? 

EI: Earthly Incarnation. A term used to describe Gillian Anderson, as the Earthly Incarnation of The Blessed One.

Fox Mulder: Who? 

GA: "Goddess Almighty." Also known as "Gillian Anderson," the wonderful and talented actress who portrays our Sainted leader. 

The Order: Short for the OBSSE. 

PI: Plastic Incarnation. The action figure representation of Her Pantsuitedness.

Scullycentric: An episode or event that centers around St. Scully or one's view of such an event. 

Scullyism: A statement of wisdom or wit from our Blessed Leader, usually preceded by the phrase: "All bow our heads as we read the Words of St. Scully:" Remember to quote chapter and verse in this fashion before speaking the words of The Blessed One: EX: "From the Book of St. Scully, Unruhe, Act IV." 

Scullyist: A requirement for being an OBSSE member. One is usually identified as a Scullyist if one focuses on the character of Dana Scully to the exclusion of all else in The X-Files, cares not for what her partner Fox Mulder does or says (unless it supports St. Scully's opinion), sides with her actions and arguments (no matter how ridiculous), and defends her decision to get drunk, get a tattoo, and spend the night with a homicidal maniac. 

SRE: Scully Rationale Explanation usually resulting in a "Scullyism." 

St. Scully: FBI Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully as divinely revealed to her followers.
 
 

1. Thou shalt recognize that there are no answers beyond the realm of science, only that the right questions have yet to be asked. 

2. Thou shalt view all things, ordinary or extraordinary, through the lens of science. 

3. Thou shalt live by thy intelligence and abilities, resorting to violence only in the extreme. 

4. Thou shalt command respect through thy intelligence, abilities, and conduct and by thy demonstration of respect for others. 

5. Thou shalt honor thy superiors and their rules but willingly break them when truth and justice demand it. 

6. Thou shalt challenge all theories, weigh all options, and consider alternate possibilities within the realm of science.

7. Thou shalt support, protect, and defend thy friends, willingly laying down thy life for them, if necessary. 

8. Thou shalt not seek vengeance, only justice. 

9. Thou shalt put up with a brilliant, egocentric, go off half-cocked, ditch-you-in-a-minute partner because thou art better than he.

10. Thou shalt always seek the truth, for it will save thee.