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Admittance to the Order
Want to join our happy ranks? Here's how.
Phase 1 : Initiate
Phase 2 : Novice
Phase 3 : Sister or Brother
Think You've Got What
Admittance to the Order of the Blessed Saint Scully is a responsibility not a right. All those seeking to be Novices in the Order must pass the following test. If you pass the test below, you may send your "E-Mail of Initiation" to the leaders of the Order. We will consider your application and respond to you in a timely fashion (which means whenever we have the time). Remember, joining the OBSSE is an important life choice. It's not every day you can join a pseudo-religious organization dedicated to worshipping a fictional television character for fun. Please review the OBSSE Mission and Creed before applying for admittance.
The mission of the Order of the Blessed Saint Scully the Enigmatic is to celebrate the wisdom and teachings of The Blessed One and to witness to X-Philes everywhere that St. Scully is the heart and soul of the X-Files. After that we are working on world domination.
We, the Order of the Blessed Saint Scully the Enigmatic, do believe in the virtual perfection of St. Scully the Enigmatic as evidenced by her cosmic intelligence, strength of character, high moral standards (well... usually), unrelenting dedication to truth and justice, opposition to evil, loyalty, faith, compassion, professional dress and demeanor, and inexplicable but admirable friendship and caring for one Fox Mulder.
Because of our belief in her divine nature, we, the Order of the Blessed Saint Scully the Enigmatic, declare our deepest respect for and humblest admiration of Dana Scully, pledge our allegiance to her, and dedicate ourselves to emulating her in our thoughts, words, and deeds, defending to our death (or until we catch a nasty cold) her honor and approaching all things, explicable and inexplicable, with an open mind and heart yet always viewing them through the reasoned lens of science.
Please answer the following questions honestly:
It's Saturday night. Would you rather:
You decide to leave your partner screaming in a padded cell while you take off to the beaches of West Africa. Poring over the contents of your suitcase, you pick out the perfect ensemble for discovering a UFO that has been buried, undiscovered, under three inches of sand for millions and millions of years. You hit the beach, resplendent in:
You are about to go on vacation for the first time in years. To get ready, you:
You have just purchased a brand new refrigerator. In which room should this appliance go?
You witness dozens of short, grey-skinned creatures run by you in a dark cavern. Do you think they are:
It's late. You're tired. What will you do in order to enjoy a refreshing night's sleep?
You've just found out that you have a rare form of inoperable brain cancer. Do you:
You feel the need to rebel against authority, to break out of the mundane. Do you:
You are vertically challenged, running down a street, and wearing three-inch heels. Under these conditions do you:
You're an extraordinarily smart, attractive, capable woman. You've succeeded in your career as an FBI agent, *and* as a doctor (which is convenient for those troublesome times when you just have to shoot your partner for his own good). Basically, you're the cat's ass. Do you:
It's Christmas time. Do you:
An odd stranger seems to know and awful lot about you, but is highly complimentary. Do you:
When a dangerous suspect you have been trailing for days disappears, do you immediately:
Your obviously delusional partner confesses he loves you right after telling a tale sounding oddly like a "Wizard of Oz" dream. Is your response to:
Your partner, who is being pushed by Evil´s even More Evil sister, points a gun at you and is about to pull the trigger. Do you:
You're about to go on your most dangerous case yet and your intuition tells you there could be unexpected unpleasantness. Do you:
If you answered "C" to all 16 questions, then you are a strong candidate for the OBSSE. Scroll down and send us your "E-mail of Initiation."
If you missed one or two answers, then you need to brush up on your Scullyist philosophy. Spend some more time meditating in the Chapel, and try again.
If you missed three to five answers, you need some real work. Rewatch "Beyond the Sea," "Irresistible," "Memento Mori," "Never Again," "Christmas Carol," and "Milagro" 10 times each and try again.
If you missed more than five answers, you are out of luck and probably a Mulderist. Search your soul and follow your own path (out of here!)
Since the Abbey is no longer recruiting, the e-mail of application form has been removed.