HOLY MOTHER MARGARET

A Poem.
By Sister Squat.

Mother Margaret, full of grace,
I love to see your smiling face.
If 1013 would make the space,
Each week your face would grace my place.

When Dana's sick you fret and pace,
And wish she'd never joined the chase.
You sometimes wish she'd drop the case,
Or maybe pack a can of mace.

Your little girl once dressed in lace
And still does, on her bosom brace.
The boys, she loved to tease and race,
But has she even made first base?

Oh Mother Maggie, things from space
Once claimed your girl without a trace.
And though those things we can't erase,
At least we know those guys have taste.

Amen.
 

Her Holy Tears
By Brother Scott

When someone is hospitalized, why who then should appear?
None other than Holy Mother Margaret, filled with fear
Always comforting yet always distressed
We wonder how she manages to get any rest
Endlessly tearful and resilient, is she
When Scully is ill or stung by a bee

A Margaret-less season?  We say "Oy"
Oh, why can't she experience any joy?
 

A Veiled Threat, on Behalf of Ma Scully
by Sassejenn

We miss the striped couch and clunky phone.
We wonder where our TBO calls home.
But most of all, we miss Maggie Scully,
Who ages much better than D. Fowley.
She's kind and sweet, unlike Teena Mulder.
(And if CSM slapped *her*, we'd plam him until he cried,
but that's neither here nor there.)

She's right-haired, prance-free, and has catered dinners--
The whole of OBSSE thinks she's quite a winner.
So where the hell's her screen time, huh, CC?
Don't make us go find Jean-Claude Van Damn Bee. . .
 

Final Curtain Call
By Sister Aderyn

Ma Scully, where have you been all year?
Dammit, get your ass down to LA I cheer.
You're needed to *up* the angst, woe, and female bonding.
To see your age-defying face I am surely longing.

Ma Scully, will you ever return to XF?
Afraid that 1013 will kill you off?
Fear not, the Scully family curse you will certainly avoid.
'Cause if CC even thinks about messing with you, nobody will
stop me from being the one that throws the switch and gasses
him out of this life for good, that son of a bitch.

Ma Scully, are you listening? I said get back to XF *NOW*;
Our Saint melts a little when you're around.
Still embarrassed about raising that twit Bill Junior?
We all make mistakes dear; you're forgiven by this OBSSEsor.

Ma Scully, enough already with this extended sabbatical -
Your presence for a *good* Scullyangst ep' is crucial.
Time is short, the final season airs this Fall.
Mother Margaret, this is your final curtain call.
 

Margaret Scully's Lot is Not a Happy One
(apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan)
By Sister Skullhead

She's the Holy Mother of our blessed Dana
And her life so far has not been very fun
In the count of episodes that aim to pain her
She is second only to The Blessed One.

Season one, poor Mags becomes a single mother:
In "Beyond the Sea", her husband's life is done.
I'll take one consideration with another,
Margaret Scully's lot is not a happy one.
When those freakin' mytharc episodes are done, 'sodes are done,
Margaret Scully's lot is not a happy one.

Season two: her daughter Dana disappears, and
She is gone three months, and Maggie thinks she's dead.
Then she turns up, and then Mulder interferes, and
She revives, except a chip is in her head.

Now, another family tragedy for Mother:
Poor Melissa's brains are blown out with a gun.
I'll take one consideration with another,
Margaret Scully's lot is not a happy one.
When those freakin' mytharc episodes are done, 'sodes are done,
Margaret Scully's lot is not a happy one.

Now guess what? Poor Dana gets a nasty tumor
In her head, and Maggie's really really sad.
Mulder has to find a microchip real soon, or
Scully's gonna join her sister and her dad.

Phew, another tragic death is spared poor Mother
But we know that it was really close, that one.
I'll take one consideration with another,
Margaret Scully's lot is not a happy one.
When those freakin' mytharc episodes are done, 'sodes are done,
Margaret Scully's lot is not a happy one.

Season five: "Hey Mom, guess what, I've got a daughter!
Except, hmmm, I don't remember giving birth."
But soon Emily's the victim of a slaughter
And an empty coffin's buried in the earth.

Maggie's family is all dying, our poor Mother,
All except for Bill, her darling older son,
I'll take one consideration with another,
Margaret Scully's lot is not a happy one.
When those freakin' mytharc episodes are done, 'sodes are done,
Margaret Scully's lot is not a happy one.

All of us here at the Order of St. Scully
Think our Holy Mother needs a rest from pain,
And if Carter throws her in a ditch or gully,
We will use a nameplate to extract his brain.

Join me in a prayer for our most Holy Mother,
"May the season end so she can have some fun."
When our heroes save the earth and wed each other
Margaret Scully's lot will be a happy one.
When the episodes of "X-Files" are all done, are all done,
Margaret Scully's lot will be a happy one.