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Bow your heads as you enter the Holy Hall of Martyrs, and pay homage to these brave servants who sacrificed their lives for our Blessedly Enigmatic St. Scully.

From the Holy Words of the Blessed One, Book of St. Scully, Chapter "Max," Act IV, we read: 

"...There are extraordinary men and women and extraordinary moments when history leaps forward on the backs of these individuals....And that while we commemorate the greatness of these events and the individuals who achieved them, we cannot forget the sacrifice of those who made these achievements and these leaps possible."

Feast Day: September 29

Collect for the Feast of
Holy Melissa the Mysterious:

Oh Blessedly Skeptical One,
today on this wondrous day,
the anniversary of the broadcast
of thy loved one's tragic death,
we remember thy Sister,
sweet Melissa, keeper of kooky
knowledge and spouter
of unscientific weirdness,
but with a wisdom far passed
her years and a heart full
of love and hope for thee.

Help us to overcome the guilt
of her death, (knowing that that
bullet was *really* meant for you.)
Grant us understanding of why
CC sees fit to knock off everyone
you care about, human or animal,
and help us to live with the
knowledge that our devotion
to you may result in inexplicable
bodily harm.
In your guilt-filled name we pray,

Feast Day: May 3

Collect for the Feast of
Blessed Queequeg the Quirky:

(By Beagle, of course)
Oh Great and Blessed Saint,
today we recall the martyrdom
of your faithful companion, 
Queequeg. With a yap equal 
to a dog at least one-quarter
his size, he bravely and stupidly
set off to defend you from a 
gator. With your miraculous 
power you converted him from
an owner-eating wretch to a 
mildly annoying bark machine.
Grant us his steadfast devotion
to you and the willingness to
fight for you against all
insensitive working partners,
lonely nights, and vicious trolls.
In your enigmatic light we pray, 
Amen and yap, yap, yap.

Feast Day: March 23

Collect for the Feast of
Holy Pendrell the Passionate:

Dearest St. Scully, today on this
Holy Day, the anniversary of the
broadcast of thy servant's death, 
we meditate on the sacrifice of
our Beloved Agent Doof, lab boy
extraordinare, whose devotion to
thee knew no bounds --
earthly or otherwise.

Whose only wish was but to pleasure...
uh... please thee (in many ways,
we are sure). Who's innocence and
intelligence were without question.
Whose devotion to thee knew no limits.
And whose lust... uh... 
love for thee was boundless. 

Bequeath to us his stiff... uh.. 
steadfast love for you so that
we too may have the courage to
buy you and what may be your
date a beer and stumble drunkenly
to our deaths, in your mercy,