the OBSSEsed - continued
Issue No. 32, February 2000
From folks we've featured before, Barbara D. has a fabulous new surprising piece out that turns the X-Files on its head in "No Place Like Home" - don't be surprised if you find yourself scratching your head after the first scene. It's a great puzzle to unravel. Justin Glasser also has a creepy new casefile out called "Lonely Nightmare" which takes place as Mulder and Scully are struggling to get their partnership back on track after Never Again. It's told from Mulder's perspective but he spends an awful lot of time thinking about Scully and the character interplay is wonderful. Now on to our new featured authors.
Mulder is dead and Scully is struggling to hold everything together. "Falling Down in Four Acts" is a disturbing and very believable portrait of a woman on the edge. A funny and sexy NC-17 tale of just what happens when Scully returns to Las Vegas undercover with Mulder in tow is told in "Sore Luck at the Luxor." All of Anubis' work can be found at this website.
I really enjoyed this first story in which an exchange of childhood foibles turns much more serious when Mulder and Scully discuss her fear in "You Thought They Said Trains." In one of her earlier stories, Scully comes to grips with the ramifications of one word in "Gun." All of her work can be found at this website.
This author is fond of a very difficult sort of casefile - one which actually ties into the mythology. Taking place after The Red and The Black is a tale of experiments and cover-ups called "Scatter." (Vehemently also seems to be very fond of Krycek since we see him a lot in these stories. Just in case anyone might be interested...) I also enjoyed the pulled from the headlines tale of the search for a missing girl in "Starvation Angel." All of Vehemently's work can be found at this website.
Shirlock likes to write about The Blessed One from an outsider's perspective and the results are delightful. I loved this author's quirky story of a photographer who sees what we here in the Order do and wants more than anything to get his chance at "Shooting Dana." Then there is the day that Scully meets up with "The Pickpocket" and it changes them both for the better.
And finally we feature our favorite prancy Sister in the Abbey. Jean is new to fanfic, but has made her mark by filling in the blanks of the past. Most of her stories are set at times we have left behind and do a wonderful job of marking those moments. Her first venture into a long casefile is the post-Redux II "I Scream, You Scream" which manages to provide an ice cream treat along with this Scullycentric tale. Jean's sweet Christmas story is told from Mulder's perspective about his "Pin Up Queen", but it is not what you think. Check out all of Jean's stories at her website.
After reading last month's CHarc article by Sisters Bryn, Sassejenn & Jenn, (and surviving the great Orison Debate of `00... see article below) I realized that there is an entire segment of the CHarc that is woefully neglected, under studied, and if I do say so, completely misunderstood. I, of course, am speaking of those times when "Agent" Scully of the Austere Armani gives way to "Doctor" Scully, she of the Flashy Forensic Fashions.
|For those who consider Scully's
wardrobe to be a bit, shall we say "lacking in variety" when it comes to
color, this part of the CHarc is just what the doctor ordered. The Beige
& The Black is cast aside for those colorful wash & wear marvels
of cotton/polyester blend most commonly known as "scrubs" and "hospital
Note the choice of a delicate hint of spring yellow, symbolizing rebirth, as she emerges from the One Breath coma... the stunning aqua marine of Teliko which says "back off, this is MY case"... the vivid cerulean blue in TR&TB which perfectly accentuates the look she gives Mulder as she tells him "without those memories, I can't. I won't."... the vulnerable pink in Redux II as she ponders her own mortality, giving way to... a powerful maroon as Dr. Bossypants takes over Skinner's course of treatment.
Only now are we able to truly understand the depths of her disgust when the best the Center for Disease Control can come up with is basic white.
|And what discussion of ANY
part of the CHarc would be complete without a look at "accessories"? Again,
the limited choices for "Agent" Scully (Let's face it.. there really are
none. The woman accessorizes with a gold cross necklace. That's it. Period.)
give way to a plethora of possibilities for "Doctor" Scully. Eyewear, masks,
headgear, gloves... hooboy the options!
It is interesting to observe that Scully seems to equally favor two separate and distinct styles of protective eyewear that she comfortably shifts between.
1) The more invisible, clear style which is apparently suitable for discovering a hitherto unknown half fluke/half man GENEtic mutation or getting the most BLAZING HOT PROBE ever for a SOUTHERN BLOT test and
2) The tinted style with dark frame, perfect for those times when you have to autopsy the dead prostitute your boss slept with (this is where I was going to work in PANSPERMIA but it just seemed... well.. wrong at the last minute) or when you have to do yet another autopsy even though all you've had to eat was a bagel with cream cheese... and it wasn't even real cream cheese, it was lite cream cheese.
|Granted there aren't many choices a girl has when it comes to surgical masks but, again, note Scully's willingness to try something different. Wearing glasses.. glasses placed jauntily on top of the head in a non-chalant way that belies the fact she may have contracted a fatal virus that's outstanding symptom is big ol' ugly exploding boils... no glasses at all, hell the mask isn't even in place, but then it's hard to be properly protected when the government's trying to turn you into a bimbo... and last but certainly not least, the impromptu "yeehaw, I'm birthin' a baby durin' a hurricane" bandana mask.||
|Sadly I must report that after extensive research, I've come to the conclusion that Scully is simply not one of those people who can wear hats. Bless her heart, she's tried to find a style that works for her but the results have all been rather unfortunate. Who can forget (and I'm sure we've all tried) the "Would you like fries with that autopsy?" Teliko hat... the Sleepless "shower cap"... granted the helmet in Drive didn't look too bad but it did seem to make her forget basic common sense things like "you *probably* shouldn't just yank it off your head because you think *maybe* the reason people's heads are exploding is because of some sound thingy and therefore it's *possible* the air isn't contaminated so what the hell"... Fearful Symmetry saw the return of the shower cap but this time sticking a *miner's lamp* on top of it. I guess you just never know what you may encounter while rooting around in an elephant carcass... and, of course, the Small Potatoes "welder's helmet". Quite frankly, it's amazing Eddie still wanted to drop by her apartment after seeing her in that get up.||
|Ah, here we are at the "latex"
portion of the article and appropriately enough, this is where I discovered
a phenomenon that truly is an x-file in and of itself. We all know how
satisfying it is to hear Scully snap on the latex (Sure. Fine. <SNAP>
Whatever.) <sigh> ... How sleek and snug those gloves are on her delicate
yet capable hands...
So why is it that when she got all saggy and wrinkly in Dod Kalm... SO DID THE GLOVES? How is that possible? Am I missing some sort of obvious SRE here? Can excited free radicals have an effect on the way latex fits? Lensie, I assume you will do some followup research and get back to us with an answer to that last question.
|Anyway, as you can see, the
Medical CHarc is as varied as it is colorful. Two of my all-time favorite
moments best illustrate just how diverse this particular facet of the CHarc
On the one hand, there's BiohazardSuit!Scully (Tunguska). From head to toe, a vision of cerulean, scientific know-how. And to truly appreciate just how "right" this ensemble is for Scully, take a look at Dustin Hoffman *trying* to wear the same outfit in Outbreak. Oh the humanity! One can hardly believe it's the same suit.
And just to prove that sometimes less is indeed more.. we have 2Shy. No need for fancy schmancy hats, masks, glasses, etc. Just a simple white lab coat and a really killer application of lipstick is all that's needed to put a sexist sheriff in his place. You GO girl!
So remember, whenever you find yourself getting depressed over boxy zippered pantsuits or wrong-buttoned jackets.. just pop in a tape featuring Autopsy!Scully or I'mAMedicalDoctor!Scully and all will be right with the world.
What the Hell Was She Thinking?
Okay, for the record, we at News for the OBSSEsed think Mimi is a fine actress and certainly successful in her past role as an XF antagonist. It's just that when we ran across this picture, we couldn't help asking, "why? why?" So we're human. At any rate, the results we received were written in good humor, and this month's Golden Pouch of Tender Vittles goes to Sister Beer for her entry. (Psst, Beer - that's a good thing.) Thanks to everyone who wrote in...but it looks like we'll never know.
Wrong Haired Prancy
(EDITOR'S NOTE: As you can imagine talk on the OBSSE mailing list got a little intense after Orison aired. After we debated for a while about Scully shooting an unarmed suspect and those ramifications we got down to the REALLY important stuff. Her hair.)
Minor Shannon: Brethren. Sistren. After all this scuttlebutt over Orison, I feel I can't hold back any longer. NO WAIT! It's not about THAT.
But, nonetheless, I have lost faith in the saintliness of Our Scully. I mean ... after that Orison, it has just gone too far. I mean, before, you could blame it on the pregnancy, youth, or rainy weather. But this is inexcusable!! (Yes! 2 exclamation points-worthy!)
I have lost faith in Scully's hair. For me, now, the CHarc has been tainted ... only the Harc remains (and that sounds like you're hacking up a hairball). Her titian locks cannot be REDEEEMED!! It's not professional, and I don't know what the hairdressers were going for, but they failed miserably.
Yeah, yeah. So part of me says: It's just a TV Show, but I look for fashion from my Saint. Up till now it's been realistic, styled for a reason, but now it's like she's just afraid of her own hair, the way she hacks it off! I know some of you have said that "hey, Mulder cut off his hair" but that was different! He had brain surgery, and he's DD, what can you say?
Sadly, I cannot relate to this Scully anymore. Her character, her hair, and her fashion sense are irredeemable. Scully is sullied. She makes Joan Rivers vindicated in every last remark. And I can't condone that.
Kirby: I'm really sorry to have to do this.
Minor, you ignorant slut.
You've obviously never BEEN a hairdresser.
So let me spell this out for
When we go to hairdressing school, we do
so with the understanding that
Say Scully went into the haircut place
(uh, we call it that in school). She
What if Marsha had simply IGNORED Scully's wishes? We'd all be happier, and I know plenty of stylists who have done just such a thing, but they weren't taking their job seriously, and they're no longer hair stylists. And if they are, they shouldn't be. There's no place for personal opinion and superior fashion sense in this business.
Furthermore, if Mulder enters a barber shop and asks for a Flowbee, the guy is OBLIGATED to have an angry beaver gnaw Mulder's bangs to a lamentable length. Mulder can even DEMAND that the bangs be uneven and stick up strangely, and the Barber, if he takes his duty seriously, can only silently and with deep regret, oblige.
It might not be what you all would want to do, and it might not even be fair, but it's ethical and it's by the book.
And yes, I know this is an unpopular opinion,
but I'll stand by it. If Scully had come to me and asked for
the pregnancy hair, or even that terrible tangled hump of curls on
top of her head in Jersey Devil, I would have done my job.
Because I'm a HAIRDRESSER, damnit, and I believe in a
As much as I'd ALSO LIKE TO EMPHASIZE THIS
POINT, I have to tell you, Shannon, you're wrong about the hair.
And you're even more wrong about the people behind the hair. Scully
may have flat hair, but it's her right, and your attempt to blame the people
at the Cut N Curl is unfounded and dangerous. Next we'll be blaming
the people at Bloomingdale's for
So in summary, please don't be so hasty
to judge the hair or the people
Les: Minor, I agree with your findings. Before this episode, I had complete faith in (the Clothing and Hair of) our Saint. Now I've lost it. What happened to her? Is she so changed as a person that she just woke up one morning and said "I know. Scissors."?
I think that trauma from past abductions
and kidnappings are to blame for
This is no longer the Scully I idolized. The days of amazing hair have come and gone and we can never go back. I've lost respect for her.
I think that in the real world, the fashion and hair police would be forced to charge her and her hairdresser with second degree hairslaughter. *sob* What happened to Season Two Scully and her wings of glory?
Serin: Well, I may be in the minority here, but I think that God told Scully to cut her hair. I know, some of you will say that the God you know would never command such a thing. Well, He told Joan of Arc to chop off her hair!
And you have to remember, this is the Carterverse, where an awkward haircut has Messianic overtones, symbolizing the shorn lamb, as well as the ascetic warrior for truth in the battle of Good and Evil. You can't judge it by the same standards that you apply to hair in RL.
Steph: Poor Minor. She finally
has the guts to address the issue that I
know all of you are thinking.
Here's the relevant quote, and then I'll get on
Minor, clearly you did not spend Monday
morning writhing around on your
Mandy: While I do respect
your opinion, Kirby, even though it is stupid
You said: "What if Marsha had simply IGNORED Scully's wishes? We'd all be happier, and I know plenty of stylists who have done just such a thing, but they weren't taking their job seriously, and they're no longer hair stylists." This example is so full of holes that I'm tempted to pick it apart right here (but I will leave that for somebody else so that I don't make all the good arguments in this discussion). Gee, that sure sounds funny in the mouth of somebody who was saying just a few minutes ago that you can't judge people when you're not in their place. Speaking of no place for personal opinion, who gave you the right to judge other people?
Let this be a lesson to you all: unless you agree with me, you have no right to judge other people or tell them when you think they're wrong because maybe just maybe YOU'RE wrong instead. Okay?
Lauren: Hey hey hey. It seems to me that we've got some pretty heated debate here, and everyone is divided into two camps: Those who agree with Kirby and those who agree with Mandy. See, people usually judge hair in two ways: By the Celebrity Hairstyle Guide and by the 'do that the weird guy who doesn't shower down the street sports. Just remember that neither side is more right, or more CHarc-worthy than others. When we are all very young and our parents take us for our first haircut, our ideas about coiffure are formed and we never go back. Are you following me here? Now, Kirby's mama obviously took her to a nice place where the stylists cared for her hair and served her coffee and asked her opinion on things. Mandy, however, must have gone to Fantastic Sam's or something where they don't even blow dry your hair unless you ask them to and pay them extra. I'm not saying that either of these things are wrong, because God knows I don't want to get into haiRP, but I think we should all stop and think about how our own haircuts have influenced this topic. Think about how you would have felt if your hair was massacred like Scully's. Think of how it feels when you're at a salon where they charge you a hundred bucks -- sure you may think they're following your advice, but they're really just telling you to tell them to do what they want to do and making you think it's your idea. Or when you're in control of the scissors, but sometimes you Duchovny your hair anyway by accident. Whether or not you've ever held a pair of scissors in your hand and cut the hair of a family member or friend will make you more sympathetic to what Scully's hairdresser, and Scully herself, was thinking.
I don't want to hear the words IRREDEEMABLE
HAIRCUT ever again. Y'all just step back from the keyboard and lather,
repeat. See if your post still seems to reek of perm fluid after
that. And remember, when all else fails and you just want to unsub,
remember that Scully, no matter what
Mandy: Having carefully examined
Lauren's post I now detect the subtle
La..: Shannon, you have to understand what was going through Scully's mind at the moment she got her hair cut. No, really you HAVE TO understand!
In a moment that was pure Psychic!Scully
she had a vision that she'd be
ANYWAY, the terrible need to wear bangs,
to own three curling irons..
..or maybe there were two <snips> it's hard to be sure because of the way they edited with the scissors being raised and then the lock of hair falling to the ground but THEN showing the scissors actually snipping... oh and wasn't the look on Mulder's face so sad when he realized what Scully had done? That she's actually gotten a worse hair cut than him? Oh the angst.
Anyway, see why it's NOT Scully's fault she has a bad hair cut?
And don't even get me started on the unfortunate beige period flashbacks causing such terror that all she could do was throw on a pair of flannel PJs and her fuzzy slippers. Poor Scully!
Paula: First of all, to Lauren, don't think you can put me in your "categories" so easily. How do you know I didn't grow up with my own personal hairdresser? I wouldn't be so quick to judge.
Second, La.., have we even been watching
the SAME SHOW?! If you go
Unfortunately we'll never get to see the resolution for this tragic haircut. Oh sure, a toss-off remark in the next mytharc maybe, but continuity? BTW La.., if you hadn't written that Mulder shouted, "DON'T SNIP!" we'd all have saved a lot of keystrokes. I think we all know by now that he was DEFINITELY shouting "WHAT DID HE DO TO YOUR HAIR?"
The biggest crime of all may be when Mulder put that towel over Scully's hair, implying a cover up. Whether it was her fault or not, she'll have to live with that bad 'do until it grows out.
Loa: Dear Shannon, you candyass
baby whiny girl: To think! Just because Scully cut off her hair in
a moment of passion! It was like a fugue state, you know, she was
sitting there on her cute striped couch (we hardly knew ye) and slowly
she goes over the torture that she had to endure
And you have the gall to say she did wrong! SCULLY IS NOT A HAIR MURDERER. It's so obvious that she was doing the right thing. No, we did not cheer when the scissor blades came together. But can't you SEE why she did it? *sob*
Squat: Oh for criminy's sake, people.
Next think you know people will be claiming
that it was Vidal Sassoon
Face up to it, you morons. Scully
made that decision BY HERSELF. I
The point you're ALL missing, that I feel
PERFECTLY free to come to now,
The other thing that I cannot believe is
that you idiots are obviously
(*p.s., I actually sorta kinda liked her
hair, even though it's a bit
Meredith: Now Squat, I respectfully
disagree. Don't you think you're being a little harsh here?
First of all, while the ACT of cutting hair is separate from a past, every
action has its reaction! Life is just a series of
Besides, we have no idea whether or not she is aware there is another hair stylist in the room, hiding behind the one with the scissors. She does look rather dazed. That stylist could have been influencing her! Did you see the way he gazed at her? Between all that has happened to poor Scully's hair, I think she is completely justified. Scully is not a hair butcherererer or however you spell it!!
And Squat, that wheeling the sink PertPlus thing is just cruel. No one in my MENSA group would EVER say something so mean!!
"I Know It's No Longer That December Holiday Celebrated Mainly by Christians -- No, This Isn't a Debate on Religion and XF -- But the Tune Fits and Everyone Keeps Talking about ScullyHair So I'm Filking a Holiday Carol Neeeeeeener"
To the tune of "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing"
On the new hair I don't dote
It's too skimpy; where's the floof?
Scully's stylist is a doof
O those days of pristine bob
I think good hair helps her job
I shall whine and I shall pout
Till this short do groweth out
Harc! my faith is shot to bits
"Orison" locks give me big fits.
With new hair, she cannot lose
It looks great, and even more
It's improved o'er Season Four
I saw one snip and not two
Ha you ig-nor-ant slut you
I see we cannot agree
Scully's 'do is meant to be
Harc! its praises still burn bright
Humbly I say that it's just right
* to be pronounced like one is hacking up a hairball
disclaimer: by her choice of title and lyrics, the filker means no
Away Goes the
goes the good hair
Scully ignores all
poor tortured Scully
nuns do all say "Neener"
Sisters do not lose the faith
By Sister Aspen, part-time Mytharc Rationalist
Love it, hate it, or try to completely ignore it, the mytharc remains a central part of the X-Files. Too often attention given to the mytharc takes the form of criticism, exasperation, or even cries of pain and anguish, mixed with curses at Carternuity and the like-however, this need not be the case. The mytharc can actually be seen to make a strange sort of sense. What follows is one sister's desperate attempt at an explanation.
Part One: Why
Explain the Mytharc, Anyway?
Part Two: The Curse of Verse: A Mytharc
A is for Aliens, abductions and all
There, now, is everything clear? No? All right. let's try this.
Part Three: Summary Section: a.k.a. the Mytharc CliffsNotes T
Mulder: "They're here, aren't they?"
A long, long time is right. Several million years ago, aliens first came to earth; their influence is still present today in human religion (Navajo tradition, the Bible, and the Koran, for starters) and even in the human genetic code ("junk" or inactive DNA segments that show evidence of extraterrestrial origin). Although they eventually left (well, most of them, anyway), possibly due to the severity of the Ice Age(s)-the time is at hand for an alien return to earth; a colonization that will have the extremely undesirable result of the destruction of human civilization. Apocalypse, anyone?
In 1947, in Roswell, NM, a group of men at the State Department formed a consortium (the Syndicate) and began cooperation with the aliens, assisting with the colonization effort in several ways. To that end, and with Bill Mulder as apparently the only dissenting vote, the Syndicate traded members of their family (Cassandra Spender, Samantha Mulder, and others) to the aliens as hostages, experimental subjects, evidence of goodwill, and in order to receive alien DNA in the form of an alien fetus.
The Syndicate is working with the colonists to develop a successful human-alien hybrid, which will then serve as a slave race for use on the day of colonization (or Armageddon, take your pick). The Syndicate has also developed and successfully tested a method, with Africanized bees as carriers, for distributing the alien infection (the "black oil", which acts as a retrovirus). Additional assistance provided by the Syndicate includes a plan of action for the day of colonization-the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has broad enough power to supersede the federal government in the event of an emergency. Research into paranoia-causing technology and drugs has also been conducted, probably with an eye toward being able to weaken human resistance.
The Syndicate has another agenda, however-they are delaying the production of a successful hybrid as much as possible, in order to have time to create and produce a vaccine against the black oil/alien virus. Once the vaccine is made, successfully tested, and distributed (to all or the lucky few), then colonization will be prevented.
Unfortunately, there are some problems with these carefully laid plans. First, there are several versions of vaccine, none of which appear fully effective. Second, the colonists have their own differing agendas (as evidenced by the alien form that gestates in a human host and then explodes from it-thank you, Ridley Scott. er Chris Carter). Third, not all aliens are interested in colonization-there is a "rebel alliance" that is at war with the colonists, wreaking merry havoc on friend and foe alike. Fourth, the hybridization program has produced a success (Cassandra Spender), far in advance of when the Syndicate had expected. By the time the efforts of all the double (triple, quadruple.) agents, Scully, and Mulder, are added into the mix, things begin to get a little complicated.
Part Four: Questions and Answers
So does everything make a bit more sense now? Still no? You expected I could fully explain every detail in seven years of the mytharc in one short article? Just who do you think I am? No, no. this is merely an overview, a guide. quit staring at me, I'm fine! However, I can address some of the more common mytharc questions..
Q: Tell me again, why should I care
about this at all?
Q: Oh, right. OK, then,
what is the black oil, anyway?
Q: Just how many alien forms are
Q: What are the hybrids? What is
the difference between the hybrids and the clones?
Q: Who was Gibson Praise?
What happened to him?
Q: Whose side is Alex Krycek on?
And on that note, it's time for this sister to call it a day and retreat. quickly, strategically, but without surrendering the cherished hope of a complete answer for it all. Here's hoping that some small amount of light has been shed into the Byzantine world of the X-Files mythology-or, at least, that amusement was had by all!
Last month we reported that Gillian was working on a script. It seems this is much more than a "Story By" effort and we will soon be seeing the words "Written and Directed By Gillian Anderson" on our screens. Her episode is slated to be episode 17 this season and TV Guide will be running an article on it this month. David Duchovny is also stepping behind the cameras again to write and direct episode 18 "Hollywood A.D." which is said to feature Skinner. Let's just hope he was joking when he told USA Today that it would also star his wife and friend.
Still, it doesn't stop there. March will bring us an episode penned by CancerMan himself William B. Davis and in other 1013 news even though the official magazine said he was gone, Rob Bowman just keeps coming back to direct. He'll be behind the camera for episode 15. What next? Tom Braidwood's very special episode?
While we do have the required two parter for sweeps this month the real buzz is swirling around the Gilligan penned X-Cops which could be classified as a "stunt episode," but if you ask me it's a heck of a stunt. Look for lots of press on this one when it finally rolls around. It may make you forgive Vince for being such a bad boy with Hungry. He will be doing a live chat on February 17th at TV Guide online (see the official site for details).
The schedule updates are as follows:
Feb 6 - Sein Und Zeit (7X10) Part 1 of 2Lastly, and certainly not least, Gillian Anderson was honored with her fifth consecutive Screen Actor's Guild nomination for her work on the X-Files. She's won this award (presented by her peers) twice now and this year has the distinction of being the only nominee from a traditional network show. Her competition in this category comes from HBO and Lifetime actresses. David Duchovny was also nominated. The SAGS will air on TNT March 12th.
Premieres Sat., Feb. 5
Dead of Winter 2000 Perv Review
guy, you ready to rumble?"
Thus begins one of the better Season Seven
pervables so far, "My Amazing Weenie." Before I get into what makes this
a particularly good example of XF perv, I feel it necessary to explain
my column's absence in last month's News for the OBSSEsed.
I was on sabbatical.
Yes, I know, I made it sound like I was unsubbing. Sister Autumn made me. You see, there is a hitherto unknown cache of funds in the Abbey treasury set aside for special training, which I swear I didn't know about until I came across an advanced graduate seminar on 1,001 Naughty Uses for a Tofutti Rice Dreamsicle and a Paper Bag at the local community college. The problem was it was a full-time intensive, necessitating my absence from the Abbey for a few weeks. Autumn at first refused my application for an LOA, saying we already had one, in fact she lived a few doors down from me. Once I explained that it was for a Leave Of Absence, and that this course would further advance my stature as PervMistress, and after plying Autumn with many Scullyritas and graphically detailed descriptions of Scully in a woefully undersized neoprene wetsuit, she confessed to the existence of the fund and approved my application. She also made me concoct the above story and will deny the existence of said fund to anyone else who asks.
So. I'm on my - (I mean) - I'm back.
I'd dedicate this perv review to Bead if
I didn't think she'd enjoy it way too much, but let's be honest about "Weenie."
With the proper focus, it becomes eminently slash-pervable. From
the tight opening exchange
For all its slash-perv, however, "Weenie"
demonstrated moments of straight-perv that helped to balance the episode,
leaving it nicely firm and well-rounded for a varied audience. Take,
for example, LaBonge's
"I see signs of refrigeration."
Of course, one can't have a good perv end without vague and ambiguous references to anything that could be turned into a paraphilia of one sort or another. Consider scrambled eggs and sausage. Heh. You know what that implies. At least, I hope you do, so you can tell me. Illicit intimate relations with scrambled chicken ova and ground cow's arse in a membrane, "that would be the greatest trick of all time, wouldn't it?" At least according to Maleeni. To which Mulder smugly responds "One that would be forever remembered in the annals of magic." Or perhaps he meant something else besides "annals". Ah, the delightful ambiguity of a fine perv.
Being the Perv Mistress that I am, I will leave it to you to rewatch "Weenie" and pick out other pervable moments for yourself, ones that you can call your own. Do this as part of your discipline training, and resist the temptation to go for the easy perv of snake handling. That we'll do for fun some other time.
Sister Betty Back in the Day
Scully is--and has been--the strongest,
most compelling, most
Sister Anne-Marie Shares Her Holiday Good Will
This past year I engaged in a PI-Rescue
Operation, buying PIs
Brother Joe Bravely Declares
Instead of a picture of my first wife I used to have a picture of Scully in my wallet. Sad but true. I have fallen by the way, am remarried and carry a picture of my true love in my wallet. Honest Honey!
Sister Pepper Tells of Her Dedication
|The X-Files is owned by FOX. No copyright infringement is intended. The OBSSE and News for the OBSSEsed are intended for entertainment purposes only. In other words, it's a joke folks. Thanks to all who contributed this month. All articles and columns appearing in News for the OBSSEsed are copyrighted to the authors.|