Oh, how I love the holiday season!

Sparkly lights...food...presents...food...parties...food....In fact, as I write this, I am about to gorge myself. Yes, two days from now I will partake in that most unique of American holidays, Thanksgiving, where we give thanks for what we have by stuffing our turkeys with cornbread, stuffing our stomaches with turkey, and stuffing our minds full of hours of mindless entertainment, i.e., football.

This year, as in years past, I have much to be thankful for: family, friends, and a steady paycheck. But for me, 1997 has been "X"-tra special. This year, I began the OBSSE Web Site and opened the Order to all those of a Scullycentric mindset who wanted to join. And I must say, it's one of the best things I've ever done.

I have learned SO MUCH. I have "met" so many interesting, intelligent, and diverse people. I've exchanged ideas from topics as mundane as Scully's shoe size to as sublime as what constitutes personal faith. And most of all, I have made true and fast friends that I will always treasure, two of which have columns in this month's missive.

So for this Holiday Season, I want to tell everyone in the OBSSE: THANK YOU!!! I am so grateful for you and for your help and support. And to all our fellow Philes everywhere, from the OBSSE to you, we wish you a very, merry "X"-Mas!!!

Yours in St. Scully,

Sister Nancy (no clever sig)

Thanks to the generosity of our Sisters, Brothers, and Faithful Friends, the OBSSE has only $700 to go to meet our 1997 holiday fundraising goal of $2,000 in pledges for Neurofibromatosis, Inc. (NF, Inc.), a charity near and dear to Gillian Anderson's (aka St. Scully's) heart.

Since November 1, the Order has received $1,300 in pledges for Neurofibromatosis, Inc. If we can collect $700 more dollars by December 15 (when our fundraiser ends), we'll have met our 1997 fundraising goal!!!

If you haven't done so already, please stop by the OBSSE Holiday Fundraiser site, and make your pledge. All pledges are reflected in our "Erlenmeyer Flask," which is updated weekly. And individuals who donate at least $20 to NF, Inc. receive an "OBSSE Membership Certificate" (or "Friend of the OBSSE Certificate") as our way of saying, "thanks."

Checks made to NF, Inc. should be sent to Sister Autumn Tysko no later than December 20. Autumn will collect the checks and mail them in one giant Holiday card to NF, Inc. with a note also to Gillian Anderson about our efforts.

Help us make the holidays special. Give to NF, Inc. today, and help us FILL OUR FLASK!!! 

More than 80 OBSSE members and faithful friends have subscribed to the new OBSSE Mailing List, which premiered in late October. And what a premiere it was! With Scullycentric themes of faith and healing dominant in "Redux II," the list got off to a rocking start, and hasn't slowed down since.

To join the OBSSE Mailing List, simply send a message to listserv@unc.edu (NOT to the OBSSE list!). Leave the subject field blank, but in the body of the message type: subscribe obsse (your email addy). For example, if Sister Nancy (no clever sig) wanted to join the OBSSE Mailing List, she'd send the following message:

To: listserv@unc.edu
From: jncotton@mindspring.com
cc:
Subject:
----------Message Text----------
subscribe obsse jncotton@mindspring.com

To: listserv@unc.edu
From: jncotton@mindspring.com
cc: ----------Message Text ----------
set obsse mail DIGEST

Thanks once again to Sister Dana Max for setting this up for us and to all the members who have joined! 

Editor's Note: Being it's the Holidays and all, the OBSSE has decided to induldge ourselves a bit in some Holiday Frivolity. (Frivolous? Us???) We hope you'll enjoy our festive offerings, the first being Sister's La..'s letter to Santa. By the way, if you do happen to speak to the Chief Elf himself, you might mention something about a "Scullycentric Season Finale." Hey, it's never too early to start!

Dear Santa:

Although I know that you cannot possibly exist and are merely a composite of several cultures' attempts at incorporating their pagan/secular figures into the religious holiday of Christmas, I, nonetheless, am writing to you, having witnessed "The Blessed Miracle of the Remission Chip" and therefore finding myself open to more extreme possibilities.

For Christmas, I would like the following. They are in no particular order, and I feel it is here I should point out that I have been good all year.

1. An Armani suit (any color but beige).

2. My very own "Grateful-That-His-Butt's-Been-Saved-Again!Mulder" and "You-GO-Girl!Scully" action figures.

3. A memory wipe so I can forget I ever sat through "Playing God."

4. A gift certificate for one year of Henna treatments at the salon of my choice (to keep my lovely Scully shade of "natural" red).

5. A new computer with a REALLY big hard drive so I can download all the FX promo movies.

6. One "Do It Yourself At Home Autopsy Kit For Beginners" (the deluxe version with cool headgear and goggles please).

7. A medical dictionary (So I can figure out what the hell The Blessed One is talking about).

8. A two-years-in-a-row acting awards sweep for Gillian.

9. Cliff Notes for Moby Dick (I've TRIED to wade through it.. I *really* have).

10. Chris Carter to awaken on Christmas morning with the realization that the show that he created is NOT about Fox Mulder and conspiracies, but a look into the psyche and spiritual journey of The Enigmatic One... known to the unenlightened as, simply, Dana Scully... AND that he will begin to write the show from this view point.

Thank you for your attention in this matter, and if you do exist, please explain to me exactly how it is your reindeer can fly as I've been unable to come up with any rational explanation for this unique phenomenon.

Skeptically yours,
La..

It's that time of year again, friends. Time to gather around the cool fire of the television screen with your Fellow Philes and sing the traditional carols that make this holiday season complete. Just to help you out, we've put together some very special X-Mas Carols of our own that are sure to liven your holiday spirits. So bundle up, gather round, roast those sunflower seeds, and drink the traditional holiday spirit of coffee (cream, no sugar), and have yourselves a very, merry X-Mas!

Jingle Bells Redux
(sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells")
Play It!

"Dashing through DC
In a rented Taurus car
From Black Ops they flee.
Don't get very far.

Chasing UFOs.
Hunting alien clones.
Oh what would our duo do without their cool cell phones?

Oh!

Jingle bells,
Scully's swell.
Mulder is a punk.
But he's cute,
And to boot,
Skinner is a hun--nk!

Jingle bells,
Scully's swell.
Mulder is a punk.
But he's cute,
And to boot, Skinner is a hunk!!!!!!"

---

Away in the Basement
(sung to the tune of "Away in the Manager")
Play It!

"Away in the basement
No room for a desk.
The Saintly Saint Scully no nameplate she gets.
Shoved back in the corner away from our sights.
The Saintly Saint Scully needs Equal Desk Rights!

Away in the basement
No room for a desk.
Our Saint slaves and toils, she never finds rest.
A desk we demand in this fifth XF year,
Or Mulder's nameplate will get shoved up his rear!"

---

We Two Agents
(sung to the tune of "We Three Kings")
Play It!

"We two agents of FBI come.
Tracking monsters and alien scum.
Fields and forests,
Crappy Ford Tauruses...
Scaring St. Scully's dear mum...

Oh...oh!

Scully (Dana), Mulder (Fox).
CSM wears stinky socks.
Truth is out there
Scully's a Saint we swear,
Guide us to thy Auburn locks. 

---

Dana the Blessed Scully
(Sung to the tune of, "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer")
Play It!

"Dana, the Blessed Scully
Had a very bloody nose.
And every case she went on
It would drip down to her toes.
Her older brother Bill-y
Used to tell her she should quit.
He said our dear St. Scully
Was acting like a selfish twit.

Then one day she fainted flat, and they thought she would die.
But she prayed hard and found a chip that saved her life, oh my!

Then all the X-Philes hollered,
And they shout out with glee:
Dana, the Blessed Scully
You're the best thing on TV!"

It's that time of the newsletter again. Time to sit back, put on your thinking wimple, and ponder the wisdom that is St. Scully (channeled, of course, through me). Why waste your money on costly therapy when you can stretch out on my cyber-couch? Plus, I promise not to ask you those annoying and oh-so-sincere questions that make a person cry like Barbara Walters or Scully's therapist do. Questions? Issues? Problems? Recipes? Write to me at autumnt@aol.com.

----------
Dear Sister Autumn,

Although I am not an OBSSE member, I come to seek guidance in the most venerable and high Sister Autumn. No matter how much I try to forget my rash tendencies, I find myself slipping more and more into the category of a DEVOUT Mulderist. Sometimes I steal my friend's pilot tapes just to see him in those sexy little glasses of his... oh, there I go again! It's like leprosy, you see, it spreads. Pretty soon I'll be losing fingers and noses and things. (If I lose an arm, I can lend it to Krycek.) I cannot be rid of my impure thoughts! Please tell me what to do, sister.

~Alice Shiban
----------

Not-Sister Alice,

I'm sensing a lot of confusion here. (Believe me, it isn't surprising as it tends to come with your last name. If you start mumbling in Spanish about goats or cats, get thee to an emergency clinic ASAP!) If you really and truly consider yourself a "DEVOUT" Mulderist, I have to say our fair Order just isn't the place for you. Though frankly, my scientific intuition leads me to believe you are mixing up "lust" for "character appreciation," which is why I'm really not equipped to answer problems of PUNK-o-Philes. They are just too numerous, and it is very difficult to find wise words or instances from Mulder to apply to answering things. The Blessed One knows that everyone has impure thoughts from time to time - even about Mulder and sleeping bags - however, she also knows how to compartmentalize.

----------
Dear Sister Autumn,

I'm a new Postulant. I'd like to know if you can score extra points if you're Catholic like St. Scully. I go to church and have attended Catholic school for several years. Should I continue devout Catholicism like The Blessed One?

St. Scully Forever,
Erin-Leigh
----------

Dear Sister Erin-Leigh,

Funny. This question recently came up on the OBSSE mailing list as well. First, I don't think that I would label Scully as a particularly devout Catholic, even though she obviously was raised in that faith. Second, the OBSSE has no actual religious requirements. If we did, I'd be in a lot of trouble. So, my answer is you should do as The Blessed One does and follow your heart. That's what gets you "extra points." Well, that and if you can make a killer blender drink.

----------
Oh, Dear Sister,

I fear I have sinned in a most egregious fashion. I fought, and I fought, yet I succumbed and purchased the latest issue of GQ with David Duchovny, Tom Cruise, and some other guy on the cover with the banner title "Men of the Year" for $4.50 Cdn. (plus tax) . I'd like to say it was an innocent mistake, but I confess there was nothing innocent about my motives. I would also like to believe that I have suffered for my sin, for there is nothing to the magazine's coverage of DD other than a single page with a photo and a paragraph. (Why didn't I notice this before I bought it? The magazine was sealed in plastic because the issue included a mini David Bowie disc, which actually looks like it might be kinda cool and worth the $4.50 all by itself, come to think of it). Searching my heart, I can summon no comforting SRE for my actions. Please, dear Sister, please tell me that St. Scully forgives such lapses.

Sister Squat
----------

Dear Sister Squat,

If St. Scully can forgive the PUNK his much less savory choices in magazines, she can certainly forgive you. It's not like you went out and bought that Playgirl that featured David Duchovny. Um, not that I know for sure he was in Playgirl, I, uh, just heard it whispered around the abbey. As for an SRE to explain your actions, well, somehow I don't think that swamp gas will work in this instance. Were you sitting too close to an electronic space heater before you went to the store? Those things can cause the darndest reactions.

----------
Sister Autumn,

I have a big problem with my husband. Whenever I want to watch an episode more than once, he begins to question my sanity and claims I need to get a life. If it's more than two times in order to catch all the Sainted One's wisdom, I am severely mocked and occasionally heckled. Any advice as how to deal with this problem? I hope to solve it before I become... homicidal.

Blessings be on you,
Sister Dani
----------

Dear Sister Dani the Devoted,

Let's see if we can keep you out of jail, though even our Saint has shown there's nothing wrong with serving a little time if you are justified. I do think she would draw the line at murder though, so I have another approach for you to try.

The answer to this one is actually quite simple and effective if your husband is a sports fan. Next time he is watching a sporting event, hold the remote. After a particularly spectacular play simply change the channel or shut off the TV. He shouldn't need to actually see the replay to appreciate the play should he? I mean he already saw it once didn't he? Plus there is so much more to learn from repeated watching of Her Pantsuitedness than catching a ball or running.

----------
Dearest, Most Wisest, Most OBSSEsed Sister of All Autumn,

I have a dilemma. The free radicals have recently been wreaking havoc on my 30-something body, and I find silver-white alien strands growing in my hair. I notice they are multiplying. I do everything. I study them; I have sent samples to the lab to have them analyzed; I even scream: "NO body will be the one to stop me from throwing the switch and gas you out of this life for good you son-of-a-(please, forgive me, Sister - there is an expletive that goes here! - but, it IS a quote from the Sainted One Herself!)!!" All to no avail. I need quick advice from you, All-knowing Sister: should I purchase some flame-throwing, Scully-Red color and process it through my own hair?? Will this help? I know I don't possess her Lilly-of-the-Field white skin (I am dark-complected), and I don't have Gem-like, glowing green eyes (mine are brown). Will I look good in flame-throwing, Scully-Red hair?

Waiting for Your Omniscient Advice,
Sister Tammy
----------

Sister Tammy,

First Sister Tammy, I must compliment you on your opening suck-up tactics. I'm actually quite transparent, so they work every time. Unfortunately for us, it seems those damn free radicals catch up to everyone sooner or later, except, it seems, the Blessed One - even when she fought the effects of aging in "Dod Kalm" her hair remained red (slightly dulled, but red). Perhaps another sign to us. While I'm not sure that any one of Scully's hair shades would be the correct look for you, I will say that the very fact that so many different variations of red have graced her lovely head tells us that... well... how do I say this? Let's just say that I don't think St. Scully would frown upon your use of a complimentary shade of Miss Clairol as a purely scientific combatant to what can only be statistical anomalies on your head.

----------
Dear Sister Autumn,

Often times, when silently calling upon the wisdom of St. Scully to guide me through the difficulties of life, I find myself wishing for a tangible ritual by which I could manifest my faith in the Blessed One. (Something similar to the way members of some faiths cross themselves in times of great spiritual need.)

I have gotten this far in developing my own ritual:

Step 1. Gently tap the center of the forehead (calling upon a belief in the power of reason and scientific knowledge).

Step 2. Grasp the bridge of the nose (to acknowledge the Blessed One's deliverance from the vile nasalpharyngeal cancer and to honor the resting place of the frames that hold the "lenses of science").

Step 3. ???? Here is where I need help. The ritual feels like it needs a third and final step (no doubt because both spiritual models and comic structures are dominated by sets of three).

Any suggestions? Your help with my ritual development . . . er . . .development of a ritual would be greatly appreciated.

Sister Meaghan47
----------

Dear Sister Meaghan,

What an interesting question this is. The thought of creating such a ritual actually never crossed my mind. Then again, that could be because it is just a little on the scary side, but since you've gotten so far along, I'll lend some assistance. To be honest with you, I'm a little disappointed that you didn't "just know" what step three should be as it is blatantly obvious: the right eyebrow arch to represent her skeptical nature. You might want to spend a little time meditating on how this ever escaped you by perfecting this in the mirror - because it isn't easy - especially if you want that eyebrow to reach the spectacular heights it has (for instance, at the end of "Demons"). It is almost an acrobatic feat.

----------
My dearest and most wise Sister Autumn,

I am flummoxed, and I need your help. Recent events in the life of our Saint have left me wondering about the changing nature of her relationship with the Punkish One and her role within The X-Files universe. I know, I know, The Relationship has been a long standing issue of speculation amongst the Scully-devout, but after seeing The Reduxes, and with rumors rampant over certain aspects of the Movie, I am sorely concerned that our Saint is becoming more and more an object of, er, feminine allure. I mean, tight t-shirts and push-up bras were all over the place in Redux! And a scene from the Movie, revealed in a recent magazine article, had The Blessed One walking around in a flowing grey nightgown!!! EEK! And it is rumored she and the Punk "get closer" and then he has to run off and RESCUE HER! Oh Sister Autumn, should we be worried? Could our Sainted One ever truly be reduced to "The Girl"? And if these nefarious plans are in the works, what can we loyal Scullyists *do* about it?

Sister Jasmine, who admittedly found St. Scully quite beautiful in tight T's but finds her just as beautiful in scrubs and safety goggles....
----------

Dear Sister Jasmine (who for those who don't know, can arch her eyebrow quite impressively),

I too have had my weak moments of worry on this very subject especially when it comes to She Who Was Born To Grace the Big Screen and the movie. Knowing what I do about the more stereotypical aspects of the plot, thoughts of our strong and resourceful Saint becoming a damsel in distress give me the chills. However, we must remember that the focus on St. Scully's feminine wiles is actually nothing new - after all, who can forget the mosquito bite scene in the pilot? Despite the fact that we and the Punk (who still seems quite unable to wake up and smell the coffee - or the wine and cheese as it were) are being treated to a slightly sexier Saint, I know in my heart that no matter what Chris Carter tries to do to her (and even if the Punk should have to occasionally assist her out of a sticky situation) she will never, ever, be reduced to "The Girl". It is just scientifically impossible. And don't start in on me with denial issues. If denial is good enough for "Our Girl," it's good enough for me. 

Last month, we ran a photo of our Blessed Bearer of the Remission Chip (kudos to the OBSSE Sister who coined that term...) leaning over a microscope in "Redux I," and we asked OBSSE members to write a caption for it. And write they did. This has to be one of my favorite OBSSE polls (next to the Action Figure one). Here's a sampling of what folks said:

From Brother Scullyguy:
"Mulder, the tissue samples are in, and my conclusions were correct: Bambi's breasts are indeed fake."

From Our Faithful Friend Paul Wartenberg:
"Oh My God. If these test results are right, that means Dharma and Greg are actually cuter than me and Mulder!!!"

From Sister Reade:
"No, Mr. Fox Executive. My cheque is still smaller than David's. Yes sir, even with the microscope."

From OBSSE Member Les Aldridge:
"I've assumed the position, Mulder. Now what?"

From Sister Debbie, Brother Paul, et al.:
"Damnit Mulder! It IS monkey pee!"

From Sister Erin:
"As soon as I find the anti-krazyglue solvent, Mulder, you are one dead good-looking man."

From Sister Kclem:
"Mulder, one more crack about my needing a step-stool to reach this scope, and I'll really give you something to believe!"

From Sister Jasmine
"F*** me, Mulder, but I swear this smear from your nasal cavity when gram-stained reveals tiny spelunkerers!"

From OBSSE Member Ali:
"Ah-ha! So THIS is what's in the bureau cafeteria's meatloaf!"

From Sister Danette:
"Mulder! I think a shrunk the Assistant Director!"

From Sister Lens-of-Science:
Scully: "My God, Sir, this biopsy of Mulder's brain tissue is showing enormous quantities of...of...Cheez-Whiz(tm)!"
Skinner: "So you are saying there *is* something in there?"

From Sister Starrrbuck:
"Wow, Mulder! UberSperm!"

From Brother Kevin:
"I'll look at your "evidence," Mulder, but if you put shoe polish around the lenses, I'll make sure the next dead body found in your apartment is yours!"

From Sister Megadee:
"Oh, don't look at me like that, Muldork. If you had just let the coffeemaker do its job, I wouldn't be performing this surgery on your fish, ok?"

From Sister La..Dee..Da..:
"Mulder, I *told* you I needed a desk! Now quick, while nobody's looking...help me push this into the basement." 

So what if Christmas is over by the time the next OBSSE newsletter rolls around? We'll still be in the holiday spirit, darn it! So for the next OBSSE poll, we'd like to know: What would YOU give Dana Scully for Christmas (or her birthday...February is inching ever so close, ya know)? BTW, be nice! If I get a bunch of rude responses, I'll stick coal in your stockings. Trust me. I have a direct line to the Santa-ed One. ;)

One of the best things about the holidays is the time off. And what better way to spend it than with a good read? So grab your blanket and your cup of hot tea, curl up with your monitor screen, and check out some of the recommended fan fic below:

Karen Rasch

Karen is one of those "famous" writers of X-Files fanfic. She's been writing such good stuff for so long that you know you can trust anything that comes out of her pen to be an enjoyable ride. Karen's work spans the spectrum from angst to erotica, and while her erotica is some of the best out there, it is her other stories that I've always thought were among her best. For a blast from the Scully past (back when Scully dealing with her abduction was the worst thing we had to deal with - geez remember those days!) her debut piece "Coming Back" is a little angsty read. Karen also has written one of my absolute favorite stories that captures Scully and Mulder perfectly in "No Greater Love". This is one story I recommend to everyone. For those of you still in the mood for a little cancer angst, try out her Wonderland series starting with "Of Cabbages and Kings."

Mustang Sally

The only way to describe the work of this author is unique. Completely and utterly different from other things you might read. Ignore the occasional formatting or typo issues with this author, and just sit back and enjoy KickAss!Scully like you've never seen her before. I'm sure this author is a favorite amongst the Rogues - er - Kitchen Crew of our Order. Not for our younger members, most of her work is NC-17. Her "Syntax and Measure" series has Scully working on a rather seedy case without the Punk in sight. She's also written one of my favorite Mulder/Scully romance pieces "Diamonds and Rust" because, well, romance is a relative term. This story has the absolutely most brilliant post-coital utterance from our Saint in all of fanfic.

Sean Smith

This one is an oldie but goodie - and very very appropriate right now. I'd tell you more, but I don't want to give away it's secret surprise. Let's just say it is a crossover - and it works even if you aren't familiar with what it is a crossover with (though I would find it hard to believe). "Etched" is a good, long, action-packed piece. Curl up with this one on an afternoon. You won't be sorry. 

We've been blessed, friends, truly blessed.

Three years ago we "Scullyists" were nothing more than voices calling out in the cyberwilderness and joking (albeit reverently) about a saintly FBI agent named Dana Scully. Less than a year ago (February 23, 1997, to be exact) we decided to bring order to the Order by putting up a web site to actually give shape to what we had called upon only in concept. Who would have thought that less than a year later so many Scullyists would follow? And follow they did...

On November 17, the Order of the Blessed Saint Scully the Enigmatic admitted its 500th member--Sister Noel from Delaware, USA. Our 17-year-old sister is new to XF fandom, but through the kindness of an X-Phile friend, has already caught up on past XF episodes. "The first episode I watched was "Leonard Betts," Noel wrote me. "Immediately upon watching it, I was amazed by Scully's strength and noted many similarities between my personality and hers. I listed her as my role model under my Senior Information for the yearbook this year. She's just the greatest!"

In honor of our 500th member, Sister ElaineMc, our Official Bard of the Order, crafted this awe-inspiring verse. Thanks Noel, and thanks to all of the Scullyists, Sisters AND Brothers, who have brought the OBSSE to life.

Meditations Upon Hearing of the Five Hundreth Member to See the Light and Become a Part of This Most Holy Congregation, Intending No Insult to Those Who Have Been Part of It Before Now and Also None to Those Who Have Joined Since Then
by Sister ElaineMc

Five hundred members! How right, how proper;
That praising Saint Scully brings participation
From Devotees spread across many a nation
For MIBs couldn't slow Her, nor yet illness stop Her.

On newsgroups and lists we've seen and heard--
Showing as one, and as each individual,
A taste and style sincere, habitual--
With a sense of the silly and absurd.

Using our grace, our tact, and our flair,
Not bogged down by ego and fuss--
If it's not Her style, it's not for us--
We sing the Saint's glory everywhere.

Scalpel and latex, logic and brain,
Protecting the weak, and the not-too-bright
[And we know, of course, that this line might
Speak of somepunk too dumb to get in from the rain.].

Sing Hallelujah and Hallelu!
Saint Dana S., we're devoted to you!

St. Scully's Infinite Wisdom is spreading across the globe almost as fast as Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve. Below are just a few of our newest Sisters and Brothers. Please join me in welcoming them into St. Scully's Blessed and Enigmatic Light!:

Sister Alexandra confesses:
"After much soul-searching, I have finally seen the light! It's been a difficult period, but I have finally achieved the proper atmosphere for proper reverence of the Blessed One: 1) Over-involvement in work; 2) no social life; 3) a strange attraction to smart-ass weirdos with sulky lips. Now I must only seek out her intelligence, patience, and good sense before achieving the next level of spiritual enlightenment!"

Sister Pyrephox testifies:
"Because it is my true and honest belief that St. Scully, in her infinite scientific wisdom, could find the answer to every truth if her great compassion for the pitiful Mulder did not occupy her time."

Sister Rabbi dana KATHERINE S. explains:
"Listen, ever since I saw Scully do the ape autopsy in the Pilot, I've wanted to be a forensic pathologist. I am MAJORLY into all means of skepticism. I haven't seen Redux yet, but when I do, if Scully's lost her hair (please no, g-d forbid) I'll shave my head in solidarity."

Sister Erica states:
"Dana Katherine Scully is my idol. She is the epitome and prototype of the woman I aspire to be. I don't like sympathy. I LOVE tailored suits. And I don't get out much. I keep a special stash of medical journals...and I've almost mastered the art of running in three-inch heels (I practice every day and scream "STOP!" up and down my street). And my favorite two words in the whole world are "I'm" and "fine."

Sister Lisa M. states:
"I don't want to feel that I am the only person with a shrine to "The Holy One" and her show up in my bedroom. Really, I think that my friends and family are starting to worry about me."

Sister Amy H. (A fellow, blessed Texan :) confesses:
"I can withstand the Punk's attempts at charm (to a degree...). I can willingly run with the Blessed One in three-inch heels. And I can whip up Scullyritas with the best of them: Irving, Texas-style."

Sister X-Lydia testifies:
"I'm 5'4", red hair, female, rarely smile, wear a lot of black, know how to shoot, can really scare people by solemnly staring at them, and have never seen an alien, living or dead."

Sister Dwana states:
"I would be a good candidate for the OBSSE because I have been transformed from an angry young woman into a lover of science and reason by the inner beauty and light of the Blessed Saint Scully. Even when I hear blasphemous comments about GA made by that horrid Joan Rivers, I merely arch an eyebrow, smirk prettily, and return to my studies."

Brother Northwest Smith testifies:
"I live in BC and travel semi-frequently on business to (*gasp*) Vancouver. I'm pathologically neat and tidy, and I've been known to wear high-heels. (No, wait, forget that last one.)" 

Each month the OBSSE features prayers, poems, songs, essays, artwork, letters, and other bits and pieces of creative expression from our members. If you're an OBSSE member and would like to contribute something to the newsletter or the web site, let us know, and we'll try to include it.

Meditative Lines Centered on the Sublime and Sanctified Inner Self of Saint Scully, with a Brief Mention of Religious Faith, Although That Is A Topic for Another, Possibly Longer, Meditation
by Sister ElaineMc

Fall leaves on pavement:
she burns against drab greyness,
and conformity.

Let her pass through life
as sunlight passes through glass,
strong, unrestricted.

Wisdom in stillness,
faith in the way nature works,
cyclic and rational. 

O Thou of fiery hair and ice-blue eyes,
With heels that heighten and nose that bleeds (no more!)
Let us raise our hands in humble supplication.
And the wayward gazers on the Speedo shall repent,
They'll genuflect before Thee, and together we shall pray.
O rational! O beautiful!
Bless us with Thy hands, sheathed in latex.
Grace us with Thy smile, so rarely seen.
Thou art exalted above all skeptics, glorious Scully!
Medieval on the mutants,
Patient with the Punk,
Fill us with Thy mercy, enlighten and explain,
And lead us to that hallowed place,
Sunday nights at nine, in front of our TVs.

"Excuse me, Mr.
Bruckman, could you please tell me
how I die?" "You don't."

"He's an FBI
man, and he's not going to die!"
she said, nose bleeding

Why do I see her
standing where she is not
Somehow...She is me. 

I dance a jig
I sing in praise
The evil cloke of cancer is raised

My little feet spin in glee
I raise my wimple high
And send off illness with a trite goodbye

The Scully warmth invades me
And with a triumphant glance
I dance
I dance

*The Scully has risen...praise be* 

Our Scully, who art in remission,
Hallowed be Thy work.
Thy will has won,
Thy cancer's gone,
Thank God our worries are over.
Give us this day, our daily ep
And forgive us all conspiracies,
As we forgive those who conspire against us.
Lead us not into danger,
And forgive us all nonSkepticisms.
For thine is the Wisdom, the Scientist, and St. Scully Forever,
Amen! ;) 

"News for the OBSSEsed" is copyright 1997 by Nancy Cotton, except for the characters (which I don't own, I just play with) and a few of the photos and gifs (such as the Happy Holidays one), but not many.