Slowly grinding the wheels of justice since 1992 or 1993
depending on whether you count the date stamps in the Pilot Episode.
   

Areas of Practice
 

CathyS
Called to the Bar, 1990
Head of the Litigation Department

Won the infamous Appartment Held at Customs Case; Protected the Innocent Brothers' and Sisters' Civil Rights in the Investigation Preceding the Grand Jury Hearings in the Repatriation of Abducted Incarnations Case (see article in the July 1998 Newsletter); Manages the Complex Cuervo Copyright Litigation; Serves as Defense Counsel on cases of Punk Slander and Libel, Troll Tort and Professional Irresponsibility.

Gen
Called to the Bar, 1995
Head of the Research Department

Acted as Co-Counsel in the Repatriation of Abducted Incarnations Case (See article in the July 1998 Newsletter); Involved in Wine-Cellar Clean-Up and Related Cost Recovery Actions; Acts as Mediator in Alternative Mailing List Spoiler War Dispute Resolution; Oversees Contracts for the Religious Real Estate Management and (Foreign) Acquisition Team.

Glasses
Called to the Bar, 1997
Head of the Financial Department

Acted as Co-Counsel in the Repatriation of Abducted Incarnations Case (See article in the July 1998 Newsletter); Heads the Planning and Structuring of Alcoholic Resources Transactions Group; Acts as Head Counsel in Pseudointellectual Property Litigation, specifically Episode Review Royalty Issues; Conducts the Annual Internal Audit of the Abbey Books.

Colin
Called to the Bar, 1999
Junior Counsel, Future Head of Criminal Law Department

Before joining the Firm, headed the Grand Jury Investigation in the Abducted Incarnations case (See article in the July 1998 Newsletter). Current duties involve trial preparation for the Defense of Spamming First Offenders and Prosecution of Mailing List Regulation Repeat Violators (he shies away from no paradox...); Provides Services to the Scullyrita Mixing Trade Secret Protection Team as the need arises.

Brother Colin has been given an office, with desk, commensurate with his new duties and responsibilities at the firm.

An Amazon Runs
Called to the Bar, 1991
Head of the

Joined the firm in 2000 in the Martin Wells debacle aftermath after recruiters hailed her 'rita mixing talents.

Seymour Little Feather
Called to the Bar ... hmmm ... that's a good question
Outside Counsel

Currently involved in the cases of Duchovny v. Fox Television, Trematoda Boosters League v. 1013 Productions, Liddy v. Carter and Dr. Scully v. 1013 Productions and Anderson (October 1999 Newsletter).

  Our Staff

Rania
Law clerk
Hopes to one day head the Immigration Department

This the senior partners agree will only happen if she can outgrow her fear of squirrels and her habit of posting offtopic. In the meantime, we drive her mad with the workload and she keeps us entertained.

Our Offices
 

Our main offices are conveniently located right here at the Abbey, within walking distance of the Kitchen and Wine Cellar. Our attorneys can also be reached online at

abbeylawfirm@justice.com.

Our international offices in Canada, Germany and in the most favourable tax shelter islands of the Carribean offer all the reliable and ::cough:: inexpensive services you have come to expect from the dignified professionals at The Law Offices of CathyS, Gen & Glasses ... o.k., and Colin.

Trust No One Else

Special thanks to Sister La..De..Da.. for creating our fabulous firm logo.


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Disclaimer
This is not an advertisement. The Law Offices of CathyS, Gen & Glasses, LLC does not exist.
This is a joke
No actual legal services are being promoted or offered, just a little humor.
If you seek actual legal assistance, please look elsewhere.