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"Mulder, whatever you've found or whatever you might find - I think that we both know that that right now the truth is in me, and that's where I need to pursue it - as soon as possible." "I'll be right there."
Up until this episode aired there was only one X-Files that stuck me with such impact that I was moved to tears - "One Breath" - now there are two - call me a sucker for angst. There are so many wonderful things to say about this show that I barely know where to start. It was a true rarity, an emotional land mine filled with flawless performances wrapped in a tightly written stand alone mythology episode that actually made sense - and it has been a long time since I could say the revelations of a mythology episode did that. You actually got a feeling that it was all coming together instead of splintering apart. Knowing the basic premise of the story made me quite fearful that an issue as important and emotionally explosive as the slow death of Dana Scully would be tied up neatly with a deus ex machina "gift" ending. As much as I love this character I didn't want to see her healed by some alien miracle. I agree with Mulder when he says "There is a way and you will find it to save yourself." I can only hope that as Scully continues her struggle with this disease that *she* is allowed to find that truth that will save them both.
Someone needs to get me a new thesaurus because I'm running out of superlatives to describe the awe inducing talent of Gillian Anderson. I am just so very grateful to be able to watch this woman perform with such honest clarity on a regular basis, and when given the chance she delivers the emotional goods like no other. There is such a range of Scully here as she initially maintains her doctor mask while those around her go through the denial and rage usually associated with the victim of cancer. It was such an interesting twist to see the role reversal with Mulder, so devastated even his jokes fall flat, being the one to say "I refuse to believe that" or "I don't accept that" only to have Scully say "For all the times that I have said that to you, I am as certain about this as you have ever been." After all, as she later explains, this is an X-File she understands - "it is science's demon possession - my treatment science's attempt at exorcism."
As Scully stoically maintains that she is fine (I think we may have a new Dana Scully "I'm fine" record in this episode as her usual defense became her mantra), Anderson lets us see her rumble bit by bit. Just as that MUFON sticker is peeled off the window her control is slowly peeled away when faced with the spectre of that jarring moment from "Nisei" when she was confronted with her abduction. She pursues Kurt Crawford in the alley with a fearful relentlessness snapping "I'm fine Mulder! Quit staring at me, I'm fine!" as the indication of her illness once again rises. Her fear creeping in, she latches onto a ray of false hope in Dr. Scanlon, even seeing him in an angelic light when he first appears. As her treatment progresses and memories come back there is a childlike terror: "I had a bad dream. Someone was doing bad things to me", and finally resignation about her fear of facing an enemy she can no longer conquer or escape as she'd done to so many of her enemies in the past.
Mulder deals with Scully's illness and his own grief in the only way he knows - by trying to *do* something - digging, investigating, following leads - as if somehow he can gain control. Given he has been in hiding lately it was also a welcome relief to see sensitive Mulder back - I hope he can stick around for a while.
I liked the way that they framed this story with those poetic and honest (and still oh so very Scully) soliloquy letters to Mulder. Their lives hopelessly entwined, she is in part defined by him now as he is her, and her description of their partnership as a journey between two people who can trust no other and hold so much of each other in their hearts is a beautiful expression of the love they have for each other. Only Scully could ask for forgiveness for not being able to go on because of death and insist that he go on and above all know he could not change things. Consistently good director Rob Bowman seems to have taken over the place once held by David Nutter as being the director most able to drive home the emotion in an episode - letting the usually frantic pace slow down and resonate when needed.
This was the closest we get to a valentine on The X-Files, the love these characters feel for each other isn't about sex - it's about so much more. We've seen our share of affectionate displays between Mulder and Scully, but that last scene when Scully, more vulnerable than we've ever seen her (made even more apparent by the difference between her usual radiant beauty at the episode's start and her ravaged by treatment look here) yet newly determined to not give up, was pure magic. Her embarrassment over his reading her feelings in the journals to him was only temporary as Mulder and Scully renewed themselves. She is determined to continue, to be fine, and more importantly to finish to prove things to herself for her *own* reasons. Mulder welcomes the old Scully determination back into his arms and clearly cherishes her. It's almost enough to make you forget all those snippy moments they have.
A few thoughts more thoughts about the acting in this episode. I've always though Duchovny made a good Mulder, but with a few notable exceptions his performances over the past years never really stood out for me. I don't know if it was his feature work this summer, or the chance practice his craft so consistently in a well written series surrounded by other talented actors, or maybe just the kick in the pants from last season's Emmy snub, but whatever it was for me his performances this season have been a level above where they were before, and his work in this episode is top notch. Speaking of top notch, if there is angst and a hospital we've got to have Mrs. Scully. Sheila Larken once again shows us that one of the biggest mysteries on the show is why they don't use her talent more often. She and Anderson have such a way of playing off each other making even the smallest of scenes an emotional masterpiece. Even in her anger and confusion as she confronts her only daughter she is sympathetic as her presence momentarily reduces Scully to a chastised little girl promising not to keep her in the dark again. Mitch Pileggi as A.D. Skinner also excels here as the tough man with a soft spot for his wayward agents - refusing to let Mulder sell his soul (and his life) to the devil in exchange for Scully's - instead he sells his own - for a price we don't yet know.
As I mentioned earlier this mythology episode made sense. There has been speculation for a long long time that part of what was done to Scully during her absence had to do with harvesting her eggs - after all that nicely dovetails with the fetal research being done by the clones in "Colony/Endgame". It was, however, yet another painful loss for her to discover that the woman who has only recently hinted to us her desire for children is now sadly barren. There is hope, I suppose, in the vial Mulder has if he can find a way to keep the eggs viable. The biggest revelation for me, and one I was not expecting, was the discovery of the Kurt Crawford clones - the grown up version of those "Herrenvolk" bee-boys. It seems that a secret war is being waged between the hybrid clones and the consortium for control of "The Project". The only confusing part was how the eggs of so many women would produce identical results and why these rogue clones were being allowed to operate inside a government facility (unless they are keeping their motives hidden).
Though shrouded with thoughts of death, the theme of this episode also concentrated on the beginnings of life. When it came down to it, this was an episode about mothers - filled with references to fertility, barrenness, and eggs. Even as we learn that Scully is barren we also learn that she is a "mother" to the hybrid project. She is very much a child when confronted with her own mother and is comforted by and gives comfort to the surrogate mother who held and soothed her during the truly terrifying moments of her abduction. The key to unlocking the fertility clinic computer is found on a trinket containing an Easter egg (which combines imagery of birth and rebirth).
I'm very curious given the grim yet hopeful ending of this episode as to just how Scully's illness will be handled in the future. The X-Files has a frustrating history of ignoring emotional and plot continuity in favor of the usual monster of the week fare, and if that continues now the show will become increasingly irritating to watch. Scully can't just have cancer when it is convenient during mythology episodes. This is a huge emotional issue for both characters that can be mined no matter what case they are pursuing and doesn't need to detract from whatever weekly exploits they are engaged in. Questions like will Mulder treat her any differently and how will she react to that must be addressed - let alone the physical manifestations of the disease - especially given her new propensity for nosebleeds. You can't tell me that this will only happen during sweeps month episodes. Don't drop the ball here boys, you've got a gold mine, and I for one am tired of the once a year dramatic flourish then back in the corner mention of the ramifications of Scully's abduction. This all said, I'd say all the pieces are in place for a pretty evil cliffhanger at the end of the season.
-This script by committee came off wonderfully. It was so tightly woven that the individual hand was not distinguishable and in some cases - I'm not naming names - this was a very good thing.
-What is it with The X-Files naming its villains after their hair? We've had CrewCut man, the Red Haired Man (who wasn't) and now another appearance by the latest consortium all purpose bad guy The Grey-Haired Man - who seems to have found one of those alien ice picks on sale somewhere.
-If I were Mrs. Scully and Mulder called I'd just hang up. The man *never* has good news.
-Mulder's obviously been taking password guessing lessons from Scully as he gets it in one.
-Did you notice that Scully even does that eyebrow thing when terrorized?
-Another signature vest for Frohike - this one with cowboy tassels.
-I liked that CancerMan was reading a book in the dark in Mulder's office when Skinner came in. It somehow seemed fitting him reading someone else's novel by the glow of his cigarette.
-The GunMen play G-Men scene was very well played. A touch of comic relief, but with real excitement as the boys in black did their part to try to save Scully. I thought Bruce Harwood as Byers did an especially good job at showing his terror as he rose to the occasion.
-The ova harvest date for Scully does match up with testing late in her abduction (10/29/94).
-Why Mulder didn't grab all the containers of Scully's eggs I'll never know. By leaving them there he invites further testing with her genetic material - something I'm sure she wouldn't be thrilled to know.
-While we are on the subject I wonder when or if he is going to discuss with her his new knowledge about what was done to her. With our luck it'll probably happen off screen.
Autumn
"Oh, I didn't want you to read that"