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"Have you been drinking Yaje Mulder?"
"Go with it Scully."
A better question might have been was John Shiban drinking Yaje when he came up with the idea that killer pussycats could be a scary X-Files premise. Sorry to say, but it is not - and for that reason this episode of the X-Files fails. It's not terrible, it's just not good, and frankly I expect good out of this show. Duchovny and Anderson could have phoned in their performances for this show so little effort was called for from them beyond their trademark tricks. They are forced to try to make little moments out of silly dialogue like "The dog ate a cat." "Cat ate a rat." "And the dog ate the cat." What a waste.
To me it was pretty apparent that the show wasn't working when it seemed like they were pulling out all the familiar stops to *try* to make this more scary. They've got Mark Snow working overtime on the spooky in the dark music, they've got their second-class flashlights that don't illuminate as well as their top-o-the-line monster hunting brand, they've got false starts galore - there's someone there - nope only a dog, only the escape from "The Host" museum guy. Worst of all, they try to make it scary by separating our heroes in the old "let's send Scully into the big spooky house by herself" ploy - I spent the whole time just waiting for her to get smacked on the left temple to make it a complete cliche'.
However, I really knew that the episode had failed on a grand scale when I found myself actually laughing out loud while Scully was being attacked by what appeared to me to be Tounces on acid. I haven't seen worse scary cat effects since that horrid made for TV movie a few years back. I have cats. Cats can be scary sometimes. These cats were just laughable the whole time. When you are laughing at the monster in a monster- of-the-week episode and you are supposed to be scared, well, something just ain't right. For all the blood that was thrown about they found the bodies remarkably intact. I really wanted to see a pack of cats managing to drag some guy from outside down into the steam tunnels while draping his innards over branches - yeah right - that could happen.
From the trademark teaser in another language (which we didn't even need subtitle for as I think everyone knows someone muttering "muy malo" is very bad) to the ending Mulder voice over this thing just wasn't happening. I've always thought that when they have to use Mulder for the voice over it is because they still haven't got the point of the episode home - they need him to explain it or moralize it to us just a little more. They can't use Scully for it as the premise would further crumble with the voice of a skeptic.
Even the investigation was somewhat contrived me. Scully does all the questioning while Mulder just wanders around making little faces or occasionally piping in about curses or rats. Bilac is obviously stoned when they first interview him and yet no one seems to notice. Mulder wanders around in the woods and chooses to stand right under the intestine tree - maybe he's psychic.
There were some good moments. I did find the Scully pulling a rat out of the car scene quite funny, especially the way she told the officer to label the bag as "partial rat body part" like what else would you label it. The rats in the toilet was interesting and Mulder & Scully's moment of being less than thrilled at trying to investigate just why all the toilets had overflowed was funny ("I hate this"). I also enjoyed the little "Ladies first" exchange with that classic Scully look.
-Good thing they told us we were in the "Highlands" in the beginning so they could justify the snow.
-Man that green chili was potent stuff - just a little taste and you get that green kitty-cam effect.
-Haven't people learned yet that you *never* go into a bathroom on the X-Files? Nothing good can come of it.
-Sorry, but "go with it Scully" just doesn't have enough snap for an episode tag line. It is no "Sure. Fine. Whatever."
-We've seen Dr. Scully do many wonders in the lab, but being able to identify a victim from corn chowder and sun flower seeds in his small intestine - she never ceases to amaze me.
-Scully: "I think Bilac has been tripping". Audience: "duh".
Autumn
"So what are we talking here Mulder? A possessed rat? The
return of Ben?"